Tag: anxiety

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STOP Exam Stress-Face the Exam & Succeed

Stop Exam/Test Stress & Anxiety NOW

3 Steps to Face the Exam & Succeed

The Exam or Stressful Situation

Have you ever had a test or exam or other stressful anxiety filled situation in your life and you didn’t know how you were going to get through it? Do you want to STOP exam stress NOW? Then read on. I have 3 steps to face the exam and succeed.

Let’s introduce my stress event “The Exam”

I wanted to have a commercial drivers license.  The driving exam at the dmv is on the calendar and this exam has three sections, many moving parts and a lot of memorization. The vehicle inspection test is the most difficult part for many people and was the most daunting for me. The inspection covers various parts of the vehicles starting at the front to the rear and the top to the bottom.  One has to show the examiner the part you are talking about and tell him why you are inspecting it.  So it has many elements of memorization and organization.  Once I pass this test, I move on to the driving skills, This is backing up, offset backing and parallel parking.  This is enough to throw some people and does and then on to the ‘on road’ driving test.  Going through such a 3 part test has many pitfalls. How did I get through it?  I found these 3 different anxiety busting steps to effectively prepare for the exam and to remain calm and engaged during each test section to a successful conclusion.

My first Step: Core breathing:

Whenever the stress, anxiety, feeling of doom or being overwhelmed began to arise, I stopped and took a few deep core breaths. When taking these core breaths, it is important to know that the breaths begin in the core. Why? When you breathe into the core first, it signals your ‘flight and fight’ part of your brain that you are safe. (Stress & anxiety activates the fight & flight response)  When your brain knows you are safe it begins to turn down and possibly even off the fight/flight chemicals such as epinephrine and adrenaline allowing your mind and body to begin to relax.  This is why core breathing is so important. Now that your mind and body is beginning to relax, because you are safe, you can move into the next step. 

Second Step: is Mindful Breathing:

After a few core breaths, I use this technique to continue to relax the mind and body. I know of no other technique that stops anxiety in its tracks like mindful meditation. It is simply amazing. In short, Mindful Breathing is to simply stop whatever you are doing and become aware of your breathing. Not to change the breathing in any way, just be aware of your breathing. Use mindful breathing as long as it takes for the anxiety to fall away and the mind and body to relax. As I relaxed deeper, I allowed my mind to now move into the next step. 


Third Step: Visualization. Watching the event:

This is where I get to provide my mind how I want the event to unfold. In the example of the exam, I would see myself in front of the examiner as he said, Mr. Kuhns you have passed. Congratulations.  I would allow myself to feel the emotions of success, satisfaction and joy of passing.  This is an important part of the 3 steps.  You must convince yourself that you deserve and believe you can accomplish the event successfully. If not, it opens the mind to self-sabotage and undermines your chances of success.

Practicing the Steps:

I was just having an anxiety trigger of ‘What If’ I fail episode and I had moved through the core breathing, the mindful breathing meditation and I was watching the exam in my mind. A ‘not so happy’ examinitor appeared in my scene and at first I saw myself become more nervous and intimidated by his attitude. That’s when it became clear that my anxiety was based on failing. (This is another benefit of this process, it helps find the core reason for the anxiety)

So then I asked myself, what is the worst case if I fail? Answer: I get to retake the test with the experience and lessons from my 1st attempt.  Is that acceptable? Answer: Yes. (Now, mind you, this is a conversation happening in my head) 

Let Go and Have Fun!

After I made that agreement with myself,  I then remembered my Toastmaster training and I just started saying to myself, let go of the results and have fun. Let go of the results and have fun. As I repeated it, I saw myself grow in confidence.  It didn’t matter if the examitor was unfriendly or intimidating.  The sting of his control was gone.  The inspection part of the exam became a presentation (just like the many I have given in Toastmasters) where I just ‘let go’ and have fun. Just like I was trained in Toastmasters.  From then on, I used this affirmation/mantra whenever the anxiety began to raise it ugly head and ruin my fun. I was also amazed at how easy preparing for the test became.  Gone was the procrastination and memory loss of important parts. I was relaxed, confident and motivated.

Preparing for the exam, from this point on, became easy and fun.

Mantra or Affirmation:

This is a bonus tool in my stress busting technique.  I like to use mantras or affirmations to overcome a core stressor.  In this case, the fear of failing.  The fear of failing was my core issue that was stealing my confidence and motivation.  So the mantra, ‘just let it go and have fun’ was born to remind me of the deal I made with myself.  It is okay to fail. Just have fun.  

Test Day

Now, fast forward, I am at the DMV, my confidence is high. I am ready. I am not going to be denied.

Right from the start I made a mistake that would have knocked my confidence and intimidated me. Instead, I laughed off, took a deep core breath, repeated my mantra ‘just let it go and have fun’ and continued on.

Several times during the test, I made errors. Each time, I laughed off, took a deep core breath, repeated my mantra ‘just let it go and have fun’ and continued on.

During the very long drive test, which I even commented to the examiner ‘this is one long ass road test’ I would take deep core breaths and repeat my mantra to stay focused and alert.

It worked, as I finally pulled back into the DMV, the examiner informed me that I had passed and I proceeded into the DMV to process the paperwork. 

The process from start to finish was almost 2 hours and it felt like 4. 

Conclusion:

I believe these 3 to 4 steps were crucial in my success.  If I wasn’t able to get my attitude turned from anxiety into fun, I wouldn’t have had the confidence to overcome the first few errors. Instead, I was able to let them go and move on.  And so can you! 

Perhaps you could try these steps for your next stressful event or situation.  Let me know how it turned out for you?

If you would like help in reducing and eliminating Anxiety in your life, reach out to me with the form below.  I offer a free 20 min consultation to determine if hypnosis is right for you.  You can even call me directly at 805-242-1649

Additional reading 5 Steps to Stop the ‘What If’s” can be read here:

You may find this audio helpful: Reduce Stress & Anxiety and Sleep Better

If you need assistance with your exam or stressful event, I am here to help. Contact me with the form below for your free 20 min consultation. Then you will know if hypnosis is a solution to your problem or not.

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Mindfulness: 3 Ways to Reduce Stress and Anxiety

Mindfulness: 3 ways to reduce stress and create a life of health and wellness
Mindfulness: 3 ways to reduce stress and create a life of health and wellness
Mindfulness: 3 ways to reduce stress and create a life of health and wellness

Who has stress? Who has anxiety? Who is living with stress and anxiety and may not be aware of it? May seem like a ridiculous question. When I was first told of my, pass high general anxiety, I was in denial. I thought it was my life. I thought everyone felt this way? Not everyone feels this way and you don’t have to anymore either. I first began using mindfulness for anxiety, although mindfulness is so much more.  When I first learned about mindfulness, I would get so stressed that I just couldn’t think.  I knew I needed to do something and nothing would come to mind or so many things came to mind; I couldn’t determine which thing to do first.  Can you relate? In that moment, I would think, I should meditate on this, NO; I don’t have the time for that and continue to circle and freeze into the abyss of Fret and Over-thinking Ville . What if, in just a moment, you could escape from fret land and slide into and area of calmness and peace? what would that feel like?

What is mindfulness

Let’s take a moment to define Mindfulness

Mindfulness is: Our basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing. It is already inside you. You have access anytime and my favorite part…anywhere.

Oxford dictionary definition is: mind·ful·ness:

1.the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something:

2.a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

Mindfulness is just that, being mindful, which means, that the mind is fully aware to what’s happening and what you are doing at that moment. That might seem easy to be fully aware, accept for when our mind naturally thinks thousands of thoughts per minute or so it seems. When that happens, we are now off in ‘what if’ land thinking about some imaginary scenario that most likely will not happen, but seems so real, we are now in full anxiousness and fret.

But have no fear, mindfulness is here.  Mindfulness is wherever you are.  It just requires a little awareness and practice. 

Why should I care about mindfulness? What’s in it for me?

There are so many benefits to mindfulness. I wrote my 3 favorite benefits. You can read it here: (see link below)…..After practicing mindfulness…I wonder what your favorite benefits will be?

3 Benefits to Mindfulness
My 3 Benefits to Mindfulness

My 3 Benefits of Mindfulness Practice:

Here are the three things that I benefit from a mindful practice and they are not listed in any order of importance.

1.Reduction of Stress and Anxiety – I feel myself entering the fret-land and I take a breath and then go to my breath awareness in mindfulness

2. Mental Clarity – being in a mindful moment brings clarity and creativity. Even now, I will be experiencing a little anxiety of how I should be use my day and I will doubt the effectiveness of just a few minutes of mindfulness. Then, I set my 10 min timer and enter the calming, creative world of mindfulness where all the answers magically appear. I am now calm, confident and have my agenda set.  It’s amazing!

3. Peace and Balance – when I have that feeling that I am just overwhelmed or torn in too many directions, mindfulness just brings me peace.

What can I say; I am now addicted to feeling peaceful and balanced.

What is mindful awareness?

I mentioned before that practicing mindfulness just requires awareness and practice.

Once you catch yourself in fret land, that’s Awareness,….STOP and remember. You can restore peacefulness to yourself.  This is your basic human right and you have the power to be at peace.  You deserve this!

Now…enter into mindfulness. 

Here are 3 basic ways to practice mindfulness:

Take a stroll – Take a walk anywhere safe. Sure nature is awesome, beautiful and relaxing but it doesn’t have to be that to receive the benefits. A walk in your safe neighborhood will work. While on your walk, take in the experience with all your senses.  As you are strolling, be aware of what you see and how it makes you feel. What do you hear and how does that make you feel? What do you smell and what are you feeling now, etc.

Notice everything is about what is going on inside, your experience. When you focus on the inside, it is very difficult to be anxious about what is happening on the outside.

Mindfulness can be practiced with your first cup of coffee, tea or beverage. As you sit down with your morning beverage, be with it for a moment. What do you notice first and how does that make you feel?  What do you notice second and what are you feeling?  If it hot, perhaps you can feel the heat and observe the steam and smell the flavor. Then take a sip and again what do you notice and what are you feeling?

I wonder how your day would change for the better when starting it with mindfulness?

Mindful Breathing Meditation – My favorite mindful practice. It literally change my life.  This is where I am being aware of my breath.  Not trying to change it in anyway, just being aware of how I breathe.  Perhaps, I am noticing the muscles used, or the sound, frequency or rhythm or what do you notice? Doesn’t matter what you notice, it only matters that you are being aware and how it makes you feel.

Want to practice mindfulness, but don’t have time for a walk or a beverage handy?  You always have your breath and it only takes a moment. 

Mindful Breathing Meditation can be a meditation on its own of a starter for self-hypnosis, goal centered or manifesting meditation or ??? The possibilities are endless. 

Mindfulness: who has time for it?  Well, we can stay in fret and over-thinking land and be anxious and stressed out or take a moment, and it is only a moment, to be mindful.  In that moment, peace, clarity and confidence will return.  Who has time for it?

I Do!    Do You?

Is hypnotherapy right for you? call or text me for a free 20 min consultation. (805) 242-1649 or use the CONTACT ME form at the bottom of the post

Interested to learn mindful breathing moment/meditation? check out my Mindful Breathing Meditation audio here:

Mindful Breathing Meditation

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Hi, let me share a bit about myself. Around 13 years ago, I discovered the incredible potential of the mind, body and spirit. I was introduced to Reiki, a powerful energy healing system. My initial experience with hypnosis occurred when I was sitting in an office chair, casually leaning against the wall with the intent of removing a lifelong fear.  In this 20 minute session my lifelong fear, panic really, of floating on my back in a pool disappeared. In one session, my fear was gone.

That led me to become certified in hypnotherapy through HMI (Hypnosis Motivation Institute) an accredited college of hypnotherapy. Now, as a Reiki master and hypnotherapist,  I am excited to offer Reiki infused hypnotherapy for your ultimate success.

I am dedicated to empowering my clients by assisting them in uncovering and harnessing their innate healing abilities. By tapping into this source of power, they can lead a purposeful, mindful, and harmonious life. Through the powerful combination of Reiki and hypnosis, my clients are able to establish an intuitive connection and experience holistic healing.

Want more peace and confidence in your life? Ready to learn more about how easy mindfulness can create this life? Use the form below and schedule your free consultation call now!

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Procrastination is Good???

Procrastination is Good???

You heard me right…Procrastination is Good!

We have been told and taught that procrastination is bad.  You have most likely heard these famous quotes, ‘Never put off till tomorrow what can be done today’.  ‘You may delay but time will not’ and on and on

Here is one for us procrastinators: ‘Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time’ and ‘you can’t just turn on creativity like a faucet’.

Now you might be interested to know that there are two types of procrastination, Active and Passive. I sense your surprise. Would you like to learn more?

Active Procrastination is delaying working on the task while mentally mulling it over in your mind.  You have a task or project you need to work on maybe it daunting or difficult.  It’s on the daily list but you put it off; however, not completely.  You are mentally working on it. Allowing yourself time to sleep on it and think on it. This is Active Procrastination

Passive Procrastination is not acting or thinking on it and you find yourself wasting time instead of working on the task.

Active Procrastination is good and Passive Procrastination is bad

I will tell you that I find myself in both camps and until I began researching this, I thought all procrastination was bad.  I, now, know the truth and so do you.  I found this knowledge gave me relief and comfort to be me. To solve problems and complete tasks my way. I can be an active procrastinator and that is OKAY.

Here are some examples of good procrastination:

Sometimes procrastinating on a task really identifies if it is important to you.   IF it is really important to you, you would be you be all over it, getting it done, right?  Sure you would.  But if it isn’t really important then let’s just sit on it and see what happens. Take a day or two to assess the energy of the idea or task…let it marinate so to speak. In the mean time, think about how it can be accomplished or even improved upon. Speaking on improving the task….

Active Procrastination can allow you to become more creative

I really love using active procrastination for this and it has helped me to be more effective.  I love to think about and use creative sleep to form ideas and strategies to complete a daunting task.  It is amazing how creative the mind can be when we allow a difficult task to restfully sit for a day or two. 

Now you have made time and space to create new strategies and ideas to complete the task easier.  This leads to better decisions and successful completions.

So these are a few reasons why active procrastination is good, you might have a few of your own.

So what do we do about the bad procrastination?

If you find yourself on the couch looking at Social Media instead of working on the task, say HI!

Yup that is me when I am struggling with bad procrastination; sitting on the couch scrolling through Instagram. This would be a sign of bad procrastination. Funny thing is, I am not aware that I am procrastinating. Being aware of the procrastination action is very important to develop self-awareness.

First, to recognize the procrastination behavior and secondly, why?  What is it about THIS task that so distasteful or fearful?  I find that most bad procrastination is fear based.  There is something about the task that scares you.   The fear can be so subtle and familiar, it goes without recognition. 

Is it a fear of being judged?  I am not sure I can do this well so, if I mess it up, I will be embarrassed.  Solution, do some research on the task and make a decision.  Can I do this or should I ask for help.  Often at first glance, tasks seem harder than they really are.  After a little research, on, YouTube, for example, you will learn if the task is in your skill set or not. Now you have the information needed to make a decision.  And it is off the list.

Or the project is HUGE OMG, I need a month off to complete this task.

Is the task just to overwhelming to even think about?  And there I am scrolling on the couch.  The solution is to just break it down into smaller bites. Sounds easy doesn’t it? NO! I used to say no too. Now I ask myself, “what small thing could I do today that would help with this task”. I like mind maps.  

Mind Maps are relaxing, Just Saying…

An example of Mind Map: Last Christmas, Teri (my wife) tells me every bedroom will be occupied with kids and their spouses and a grandchild, so we need to get the house in order.  I found this to be Overwhelming.  This project had a lot of moving parts with closets being cleared and stuff needing to be taken to good will and garage needing to be organized to handle more stuff being moved from bedrooms and on and on.  It was a nightmare.  So I took a day and created a mind map.  I don’t work well with lists. I broke everything down into little tasks with dates.  And it all got done. Just having the mind map gave me relief. I wasn’t overwhelmed anymore. Instead, I was excited and focused to complete each task and cross it off.  By the way, at the top of the plan, I wrote “The Kuhns Family Christmas”. Some will get the reference.  Haha.  Yes, Christmas Vacation is one of my favorite Christmas movies.

In closing, there you have it, The Good and Bad of Procrastination. If there was an Ugly of Procrastination, it would be to continue scrolling on the couch.  Instead use this information, face the issue and make a decision. Self awareness is all you need to decide if it is Active Good or Passive bad.

Happy Active Procrastinating

Is hypnotherapy right for you? call or text me for a free 20 min consultation. (805) 242-1649 or use the CONTACT ME form at the bottom of the post

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